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- Pearl.

In the predawn light, we two would walk
where the water sloshed our ankles,
and the wind tickled our cheeks:
			Can you see me now?
			Hey lover, can you see me now?


Somewhere time still screams,
And we never grew up; we never-- 
			would never--

			in our make-believe island
			in our make-believe universe
			in our make-believe unity

where we once shared kisses--

			And I tell you a story
			about how I loved you--

And you almost wish it was true, 
And I tell you it is
			though I almost doubt it,
And you kiss me desperately 
			though you can't,
And I fuck you: 
			one for the road.


Afterwards, I cry, and you hold my hand:
			you're sad too.

I want to cling to this sadness, I say
			and you nod.

One thing you know: how to hurt.

I wish you were beautiful,
			but you're empty.

If I put my heart in your hand,
			it would drop.


I want that echo of emotion to fill me, 
let me remain an empty husk, your miracle:
a shell on that forgotten beach, lathed clean
by the ocean of our tears:
some crazed memorial, cast aside.

			I want to scream
			till I'm angry again; 
			but you're safe now--
			you're safe;
(I'm not)

I cast my heart into the depths of memory,
and it bobs to the surface: buoyant.
It sinks to the depths to brew a pearl:
a poem you can no longer have.

- Seattle, 12/18/08.

January 2012

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